The Zoot Suit Riot

Since When Did We Start Listening During Those Sex Talks?

2005-04-18T18:38:00.000-04:00

I am among one of the millions of kids who do one thing during sex talks from adults—I get extremely bored. Really, I don’t think it’s my fault. I’m a teenager, and my mind is full of sex. Can you blame me? I live in a sex-crazed society, we all do.

I mean, sex is everywhere. What do you think Desperate Housewives is? And, come on, you know you stare at the TV during sex scenes in movies and TV shows. Authors books, even ones specifically for teenagers, drop in the random kissing scene, the lustful thoughts the guy has for the girl…they know us kids are watching and reading. We want it, don’t we? And what do you think half of rock and roll, pop, and definitely most of rap is? Sex. Sex has spread to every corner of our sin-bathed world, even, sadly, into the Catholic Church (yeah, remember those disgusting molestation scandals?).

That’s not what this rant is about. I’m actually going to justify teenagers wanting sex. Ever hear of Pam Stenzel? Well, she goes around schools all over the country, and the world, to tell kids/teens (whichever) about sex, it’s dangers, all those STDs…These are the reactions I got from my classmates after she talked to us:

· “Wow, she must never get any.” (Which, obviously, she had to have sometime in the past…she does have three kids)

· “God, why not just tell us not to have kids? Jesus.”

· “F*ck that shit.”

· “Wacko.”

Or the one that I said, “I’m probably gonna end up doing it anyway.”

And I didn’t say that out of ignorance. I just might have premarital sex. I think about it enough. And I know all of you do, so don’t say “Ew” when I’m telling you that I think about sex—I’m betting one of you guys just got back from jacking off anyway (and I guess that goes for girls who finger themselves, too.)

I think it’s the adult world’s fault for getting us teenagers obsessed with sex. Look who we have as role models:

Priests who molested little boys
Senators, judges, presidents (and other political assholes) who are always in sex scandals
Our own fellow adults, parents, teachers who cheat on their spouses because they wanted to screw someone else
Teachers who are having sex with their students
Michael Jackson
Adults who make TV shows that practically scream “SEX! SEX! AND GUESS WHAT? MORE SEX!”
Woody Allen

There’s so much more than that, but I already have more than half of a page in Microsoft Word and I haven’t really gotten to my point yet. But seriously, people expect us to stay virgins with all this stuff around us? HA! Go ahead, laugh at whoever is telling you to be chaste; they’ve got to look at everything around you. You’re the one living in the sex bath.

I mean, I admit I’m a virgin. But I have a really good friend who isn’t. She actually is trying to influence me to look at porn, finger myself, etc. I always thought people like me who have never actually done anything sexual with friends that have were just in those movies where they tell you sex is bad. But I’m sure you all have a friend who isn’t a virgin as well. And you know what? Teenagers these days don’t give a shit about the moral rules anymore. They want to f*ck? Then they say, “Well, then, let us f*ck.” And they do it. And they love it. And they do it again.

And adults wonder why we don't listen to those sex talks. I say let us teenagers have our sex. I'm not saying actual teenage sex is good and that you should all go do it, but we're teenagers, and it's inevitable--we're gong to think about sex. You adults out there telling us how we're gonna die while still saying "But sex is still wonderful! Just be married!" isn't going to stop teenagers. We're stupid and stubborn, and you can't find anything that will stop us. We can't, not with a sex-crazed world around us. Almost everywhere we look, there's someone screwing someone else. And you still tell us to stop. Dr. Phil was right about one thing (and only one thing as far as I'm concerned: sex is an epidemic. And you can't stop it. "You'll get this virus, you'll die that way, yadda yadda...but sex in marriage is completely okay! Diseases in marriage is fine! Marriage is the only okay, even if you can really still dei from all this stuff even if you are married. But still. Outside sex = bad!" Whoops. Telling us things we don't wanna hear didn't work? Sorry.

We teenagers love thinking about sex because it makes us feel more mature, and, above everything else, good. Don’t you adults get shocked when your twelve-, thirteen-, fourteen-year-old girl is on her bed fingering herself, thinking about that guy from her math class eating her out. And you can see the sex jargon I’ve used in this rant…jacking off, fingering, eating out…I’m a freshman in high school and I already know the sex dictionary inside and out. And, like I’ve said, I haven’t really done anything yet. Just think about the kids my age and even younger who have! I’m the type of person who watches porn and bursts out laughing. But think about the ones who don’t. Think about the ones who love it, and watch it again, and again, and again.

It could be you.

But, like I said, it isn’t your fault.

Did You Say Christmas Concert?

2004-12-24T16:08:00.000-05:00

With the growing amount of schools that are taking Christ out of Christmas, you really do have to wonder why they’re even having concerts at all.

What is it that you think of when you first hear “Christmas?” Maybe it’s the wintry season, the mistletoe, egg nog, good ol’ Saint Nick, Christmas trees, think what you wish. But in the end, you do think of that little baby in the manger with the woman in the blue robes hovering over him. Of course, then again, even that is starting to disappear.

It is a spreading fact that not all people who celebrate Christmas are Christian—in fact, there are even Jews and Muslims who go out, buy the tree, and stuff presents under it just for the fun of the season. Yet, lately, there are people who are “offended” by the cheerful season of Christmas.

Why? Really, who knows what these people are thinking. But here is probably what they should go over:

· Every religion has its seasons: the Jews, Chanukkah and Passover, the Muslims, Ramadan, and the Christians, Easter and Christmas.

So, really, every religion has its respective time to sit down and concentrate on their holiday. What the general routine is, say, when the Christians celebrate Easter, the Jews and Muslims sit back and enjoy the days off, because they know the Christians sit back when Chanukkah and Ramadan are going on. But why do some people refuse? It’s common respect to let a religion celebrate because you would expect the same respect when you celebrate your holiday. It wouldn’t be fair to be Jewish and be offended when you see an Easter egg when you hope the Christians keep their traps closed when you show off a menorah. It’s common respect, simple and fair. Yet, it seems not everyone wants to be fair. Christmas all of a sudden has to be for every religion. That means, Christmas concerts can’t have anything to do with Christ.

· There is a reason why Christ is in Christmas.

But it seems, unfortunately, that even something simple as noticing the spelling of the holiday is being thrown to the dust. To suit the comfort off all the people who a) don’t respect the religious in celebrating their holiday and b) just want their fifteen minutes of fame because everyone else is suing for religious purposes (why not, right?), Christian symbols are being taken from public view. But then why keep the Christ in Christmas? Soon, even the name of the holiday itself is going to offend people, and we’ll have to start preparing for Mas. Get used to it, because that seems to be the trend.

Speaking of trends, this whole religious-suing nonsense is a lot like high school. One atheist, who obviously melts at the word “God,” started this, got his melon pasted on the television, and maybe got some cash out of it. Now, just like a bunch of teenagers peer-pressured into doing drugs or trying to newest fashion, every stubborn person who just doesn’t want to leave the other religions respectfully alone tries some sort of law suit. Separation of church and state? Ha! They’re making it worse, bringing these ridiculous matters to court. It’s not the public’s fault that a good amount of people are okay with Christian symbols, let alone are Christian. Has no one noticed this has become a trend? This has ridiculously happened numerous times, that I had to get my lazy arse off the couch and write an article about it.

So please everyone, just remember that Jesus is the reason for the season. If you’re Jewish, go light your menorah, because the Christians are okay with it, and shut your trap when there’s a Christmas concert. No one complains when the Hava Naguila is on. Same goes for everyone else. Seriously, why don’t you take advantage of the holidays? While everyone is off at church, sit home with your friends in the living room, put on some 60s music and sip your tea! You have off from work, don’t you? Then stop complaining! Please stop ruining the holidays for those who don't want to make stubborn noise. Thank you.

The McGreevey Effect

2004-08-20T17:08:00.000-04:00

On Aug.12, I was really shocked to hear that Governor McGreevey of New Jersey resigned. I was in the car with my mom, and we both looked at each other, like, “What?” We thought, at first, maybe it was from a terror alert or something, or a threat—you know how everything is going these days. But it wasn’t. Governor McGreevey announced he was gay.

At first, I was like, “What the hell!” It was pretty shocking. I mean, I’ve seen this guy on commercials and everything (I even saw him talk at a local concert in New Jersey that my mom dragged me to), and he seemed alright. But to learn that that was the reason of his resignation really made me think. Which, of course, is what this article is about.

The first thing I thought—okay, the guy really can’t be gay if he was married twice and had children twice. In my opinion (of course, I’m not homosexual, so I can’t fully understand this, so all those who are, bear with me), marrying two women and having sex with them more than once is a little bit more than experimenting with your sexuality. Maybe he can be bi, like Angelina Jolie (it is a fact that she admitted she was bi), but gay? I’m not so sure…

I’ll say I thought other things, like, how will his marriage turn out? What the hell are his kids going to go through? I can’t imagine any sunshine, especially with how cruel kids are today. I really fear for his daughters.

But that’s not it. It’s the whole gay thing. First off, I want to say that homosexuality doesn’t bother me. I welcome all sexualities, and I don’t criticize people because of it. In fact, I met someone who was gay, and he was extremely sweet. What I have a problem with is homophobia. I just want to know why people can’t accept others for who they are. It’s blind and completely stupid, and people who hate gays really have no hearts.

I want to mention that I’m a Catholic, and I’m not against gays. I’m a little unsure about this whole gay marriage thing, but I don’t have a problem with people being homosexual. Whether they’re born like that (my fifth grade science teacher says there IS a way that can happen) or it’s their choice, either way, people have no right to criticize them. And for all the super religious people who hate gays: look at it this way—if gays were born that way, then you’re hating something God created. I mean, in Catholic school, we were drilled with “God loves you no matter what.” Then God loves gay people just as much as he loves straight people. And doesn’t God want us to love one another? I don’t recall him saying, “Love only straight people.” Nope. So try that on.

It’s like if you watch a cartoon show everyone else hates. I admit, I watch Yu-Gi-Oh (but only to see how the Americans destroyed the original Japanese version and took out all the cursing, violence, etc.), and some people have made fun of me. Why should they? I like it, and it’s very uncaring for them to criticize me just because I like something they don’t like or something that they don’t understand.

Well, guess what, homophobes? It’s the same thing with homosexuality! Yeah, I know, disagree with me, but still. I mean, homosexuality is something that’s been around. Elton John (one of my many Masters of Puppets, along with William Golding), who is loved by the world, is gay. The geniuses that made up the band Queen are gay. And you know what pisses me off? How Catholicism is all like, “Well, John Kerry can’t take communion because he supports the choice of abortion,” and “You can’t take communion because you missed a Holy Day of Obligation,” and yet, the GAY priests there are molesting little boys, distributing the communion to us. Now, if people are fine with that but not the safe, non-molesting-little-boys-while-being-holy-men homosexuality, I have no friggin’ clue what this world is coming to. I mean, jeez.

Seriously. In 2004, a man has to step down from his duty because of all this hassle he’s going to get from his lying bastard of a lover (who I think IS gay, despite his lies) and every homophobe in the country. You see? Because of this horrible hate towards something like homosexuality, and man can’t even go through with his job! He can’t govern the state in peace! And you know what? I mean, I am way against the whole cheating thing, but if he was unmarried, and still had to step down because of the same situation, that would be the peoples’ fault, including his lying bastard of a lover. Because of this ongoing homophobia, Governor McGreevey has to step down. That’s what it comes down to.

I really hope that in my life time the whole homophobia thing is stopped. I mean, what are people so afraid of? We can survive terror attacks, but not a gay governor. We can withstand the loss of our brave men and women overseas, but we can’t “withstand” the association of someone who is attracted to the same sex. There’s something wrong there.

The incident with Governor McGreevey, and I hope, this essay will open some eyes out there. Homophobia isn’t the way to go, because it just means you are blind to peoples’ feelings and un-accepting. You don’t think bashing on innocent gays isn’t the same as bashing on an innocent seven-year-old? It’s the same! Making people feel like shit is the same, no matter what sexuality! Open your eyes everyone! Please!

Bush Should Stop Blaming Clinton

2004-08-10T12:17:00.000-04:00

For starters, any right-wingers better not read this because I do not want rants about how wrong I am. This is an essay of opinion and any flames you give me will be yours. But then again, I am a writer and author-in-the-making (hopefully) and I should be open to the shit I’ll get contradicting me.

<>Okay, sorry to be so mean, but I feel that if you will contradict what my opinions are, your opinions aren’t going to make truth either. Everyone’s entitled, aren’t they? But now I’ll start. <>

I think President Bush should stop constantly blaming former President Clinton for every problem that arises. It’s bad enough that he blames him for September 11 and the crisis in the Middle East, and whatever else he blames him for. It’s enough to drive any one insane, including me. And what’s worse, I think this B.S. is horrible for young minds like mine. What are we growing up to, huh? I simply cannot understand what these guys are thinking. Doesn’t the Bush administration realize the disputes it causes with its actions are affecting the youth? In my old school, the kids of the Republicans hated the kids of Democratic parents. Doesn’t the politicians of today, both right- and left-wing realize that this not only screws up the economy, world peace, yadda yadda…oh, we know that already, but it messes up the minds of young kids. What kind of politicians are going to be in the future? I’m scared.

Let’s start with a little irony. Bush and his holy administration blame Sept. 11 on Clinton and his lack of security and tactics for defense. But let me bring something up. The World Trade Center was first attacked in 1993 when terrorists set a bomb off in the garage. And it seems that President George Walker Bush had left office only a bare six weeks before this happened. Now, was that Bush blamed? Nope. And that was six weeks after he left. And you know what? Bush blamed Clinton for something that happened half a year after he left. Now, Bush had a half year and more to prepare for this. Immediate action upon entering the office, huh? Bush Sr. was excused for the first bombing, but does a whole building need to collapse and people need to DIE for someone to be blamed? Or is it just a coincidence that a Republican wasn’t blamed but a Democrat was?

And what’s worse—Bush blames Clinton for the Middle East crisis! According to President Bush, “when a president calls a summit…he better get it right…” Clinton tried to maintain a peaceful alliance with Israel, but it failed. So I guess Bush’s logic is to just do nothing. He probably realizes that he can’t do anything right. Oh, but there was that Bush-Sharon summit. Let’s see, what came out of that? Well, while trying to make everything sound encouraging, Bush merely repeated what Clinton had said. And also, he approved Sharon of maintaining rule over the six settlement blocks, which are purposely located so the West Band can be sliced up and the “genuine, democratic and viable” Palestinian state will be impossible.

And according to an article from the EJJP, “An ‘agreed, just, fair and realistic’ solution to the problem of Palestinian refugees can only be found through negotiations between Israel and the Palestinians, that recognizes Israel’s role in creating the problem and its responsibility for sharing in a solution, as well as Israel’s legitimate concerns. Bush’s endorsement of Israel’s rejection of this approach can only reinforce hatred and embitter relations between the two peoples beyond any hope of reconciliation.” Hmm…yeah, Israel’s lookin’ pretty peaceful over there, eh Mr. President?

So I think Bush has nothing to blame Clinton for in that area. Clinton tried. And I have no idea what the hell our current President is doing. But then again, I’m a teenager, so what do I know, right?

Well, I know Clinton has a lot on Bush as far as the economy is concerned. Let’s start with the tax cuts! You want to know a BIG difference between Bush and Clinton? Clinton taxed the rich, Bush didn’t, and whose economy did better in the end? Who created more jobs in the end? Who made a large surplus in the end?

<>Clinton (if any of you said Bush, I would smack you). Sure, Bush is making some new jobs now…right after the 4 million jobs he lost. I think he should get little credit for the 1 million jobs he’s creating, because he shouldn’t have lost 4 million in the first place. But I guess keeping your wealthy buddies happy and giving them tax cuts is more important. Bush is wealthy, and that’s all that matters. I mean, I may seem a little hot-headed, but seriously: if Bush really cared about us, he wouldn’t cut taxes on the wealthy. WEALTHY = MONEY. You know…money…the thing our country really needs right now?

I could go on more, but I’m digging myself a hole for the right-wingers who probably want to bury me right now. So I’ll stop. But I think that’s a bit of evidence to show Bush should stop blaming Clinton for every problem. Clinton lied about his sex life. Bush lied about the war. Huh. This just comes to show that Bush realizes he’s screwed up and that he needs to hide behind the mistakes of Clinton. But if Bush thinks Clinton seeing his intern’s breasts is going to damage the relations today with Israel, then we know he’s lost it. I’m not calling Clinton a saint, because I want to hit him with a stick for cheating on his wife (something I’m deeply against). But seriously. Come on. Bush should stop blaming Clinton.

Pass the Riot Around

2004-08-09T23:27:00.000-04:00

I just wanna announce that I want this blog publicized! So pass it around to all your friends. And please, subscribe to this, too! Just...don't pass it on to right-wingers...they won't like my political views. Ha.

Anyway, I'm going to put up a banner soon for those who want to link me. For now, if you want the banner, just tell me to email it to you. I made it myself earlier today, and I think it's pretty good if I say so myself.

So, pass zootsuitriot.blogspot.com around for the lovin', and be prepared for a second commin'! (Oooh...quoting P.O.D lyrics...very bad). But seriously, that's all I ask. Read and pass the riot on.

My Views on Young Girls with Make-Up

2004-08-09T09:08:00.000-04:00

Okay, let me start out by saying from the time I was ten to thirteen, I thought make-up was for stuck up popular girls. And let me add that I wear make-up every day now (but not a lot. Just lip gloss and stuff, you get it?). So I have both viewpoints. And now I’ll start the damn rant/essay.

I went to a Catholic private school from when I was in kindergarten until I was in eighth grade, and let me tell you, socially, I didn’t enjoy it. Not one bit. I thought the guys were jerks, the girls were snobby, and the teachers were especially harsh to little kids. Not to mention, the teachers beat down on you with an iron rod, if you get what I’m saying. But I always tried to stay on the teachers’ side, even what people say “suck up” to them so I wouldn’t get beaten on. It turns out it didn’t work.

Now why am I mentioning it? It’s because I thought the teachers would go after the girls who spent time during class talking and re-apply their damn lipgloss for the billionth time. Oh, no. There was only one teacher, one, who ever stopped them. I then started to have a strange dislike for any type of make-up. And when I did put on make-up? God…was it awful. I put blue eye shadow on all the time. I thought your eye shadow was meant to always be the color of your clothes (and I wore a lot of blue back then). This, of course, made me hate make-up more.

My dad, being a dad, always told me, “You girls are too young to have make-up on.” I guess I agreed…by then I had an indifferent view. But now? Well, by the time I was thirteen and going to junior high kinds of dances, I realized I needed a bit of make-up. So I got it professionally done (because I didn’t trust me or my mother). And it’s then I realized….I looked good! And so the tale goes, I started putting on just the right amount of make-up every day and lived happily ever after, lalalala…

Okay, sorry to bore you, but seriously this is what I think. Make-up—for me, it’s a few things. One, to hide your insecurity; two, to attract attention (this always isn’t used in the right way, if you know what I mean); three, just simply to look good and feel good. But there’s points to be made for numbers 1 and 2. I’ll start with 1.

Now, you’re not going to come out and say, “I wear make-up because I’m insecure about myself and what people think about me.” Uh, no. It’s like a drunk person admitting they’re stoned. But you can realize that you’re insecure about your looks and that’s why you’re hiding behind make-up. It could because someone has teased you about the way you look. Some boy could have teased you about the way you put eye shadow on, or told you that you look ugly. So, why go through the torture of being made fun of? Just a little blush, eye shadow, lip gloss…

In no way am I saying make-up is an evil thing. Like I said, I put make-up on almost every day (of course, it’s to make me look like a punk or a goth, because that’s just the wannabe I am), but it depends the reason. Number 2 could be, of course, to attract attention. And again, there’s nothing wrong with that. But, of course, I know what a good amount of people think, also—the “slut” look. It’s when you have to wear make-up to get the attention of guys. And it’s mostly guys who just want your chest and butt—most of the time. There could be that shy guy that you’re talking to who says, “Wow, you look great.” But still. You get my point, no?

Make-up shouldn’t be the last result for girls who feel ugly about themselves (and it shouldn’t be the first resort, either). In order to be confident and beautiful, you should feel good about yourself. Tell yourself what you’re good at, and even get a little full of it, and kiddingly say, “Yeah, when it comes to (let’s say, swimming), I am hot shit!” Confidence in yourself is enough beauty that anyone really needs to see in you.

(Oh, and by the way, if anyone says you need make-up, don’t listen. You’ll get yourself in a fuss. The confidence thing works better.)

Realize Who You Are

2004-08-08T22:20:00.000-04:00

I grew up in an average town on Long Island. Average housing, average deli on the corner, average, average. But the area of the town I grew up in was right on the border, exactly “on the other side of the tracks” even, of a not-so-average town. This was what set Garden City Park, my town, from Garden City.

The person who doesn’t live in Garden City immediately says that it’s a rich, even stuck up town. I know a person whose cousin calls it “The Bubble.” Well, as soon as my family moved to Garden City Park, which was when I was about 3, they finished me up in my Queens nursery school before they sent me to kindergarten in Garden City. The school was a private Catholic school called St. Joseph’s. It was a parochial school that went up to eighth grade, and its standards, my parents had heard from around, were very high. Even inkindergarten, my participation and, as soon as I started having them, grades met those standards. There was just one thing.

I was very different from all the kids I went to school with.

I have to say, graduating from St. Joe’s, about 89%, if not more, of the students that attend St. Joseph’s are from Garden City. But I wasn’t. I didn’t take a bus, and I never went over to anyone’s house because I lived in a different town. In my nursery school, we were encouraged to be energetic, fun loving, scream out loud and run in the sun. Although most of the kids I went to nursery with were Jewish, I still fit in pretty well. With the average person, I made friends pretty easily.

Which conflicted a lot with what was going on at St. Joe’s. I don’t know what immediately separated me from the other children, but it was impossible to make friends. In kindergarten, there were three Alexandras (including me). Since I was the strange one, and my last initial (B) rhymed with “p”, I was Alexandra Pee-pee (which, when you are five and six, is the ultimate insult). In first through third grade, the girls pushed me out of their groups, and I had to cryto the teachers to make them let me sit with them at lunch.

I hate accusing people of things, but if you retold this to those girls, they would deny it. Then, I bet you, they would give me the silent treatment. I just didn’t understand their behavior at all. During my quest to actually understand how these girls’ minds worked, the cliques became more and more permanent, and by the time I realized how alone I was, it was too late. I would cry at recess, and the girls would come over and tell me they were myf riends. The next day I would attempt to hang out with them at recess, they would ignore me. I would cry, and I earned the name for three solid years “crybaby.”

I tried being so much like those other girls. I was silly like they were, I sometimes didn’t do my homework, (and when it was cool to do yourhomework, I did that too). But when I really tried to make myself a clone ofthem, I realized—

I hated being like them.

It was funny. In a Catholic school, you think it’s a warm, cozy fireplace. But there are the select five people who are on the outskirts. But even those girls were less than welcoming to me. I talked to my teachers, and they couldn’t understand either. I was kind, I was smart, I was creative; nothing made sense.

Some kids left to go to the public middle school, and others came in. The crowds slowly changed. But what I couldn’t comprehend was that the new girls were being accepted into the popular crowd immediately. The first day of their new school, they were swamped. And there’s me, who tried everything to fit in, and I just got snubbed.

That made me want to rebel. I made sure I was as different as ever. I hated skirts, and I treated pinks and yellows like they were the Devil. I only wore anything without two legs on special occasions. But my difference got to a few people. Not only did it even more separate me, it angered my mother. She tried to put me on my quest to be a clone again, and no matter how much I cried and objected, she felt even her own social life was in danger. My mother was never too involved with the Garden City mothers, either, who all drove SUVs, played tennis, wore their sweaters around their shoulders, and shopped at the most popular stores for them and their children. Everything they did consumed loads of money, but they had it. We didn’t. My mother believed that it was important for the both of us to be socially active. I got nowhere fast, however.

By seventh grade, I had a few problems. One, I had a humongous crushon this one boy, a crush that I can officially label as one of those “first loves.” I was popular among the outcasts, but the thing was, I was still a little different. Some of them didn’t even attempt to be social, while I was the energetic, eager one. I realized that the girls really couldn’t satisfy me as far as friendship went. Soon, by the end of the year, along with my best friend Julia, all my friends were guys. What was worse, only two of them were in my grade. The others I was friendly with were a grade higher than me and graduating. The other problem? My other best friend, Tedd, hated everyone and everyone disliked him back. He was a big scapegoat for a lot of teasing.

But with Tedd and Julia, who I kept in close contact with even after she graduated, I was able to fully be myself. I loved the way Julia was and how she dressed; optimistic, but not silly and air-headed. The only colors I saw herin was black, red, and the occasional navy blue. Those, all my life, even thoughI had never wore them, were the only colors I liked.

Yet again, I was separated even more. The girls in my grade all shopped at Ambercrombie and Fitch, this new place called Hollister. I had never stepped into one of those stores before. In fact, as a joke, Tedd wanted to start a fake fight in Ambercrombie. And what was worse, except for very few changes, all the girls wore the same thing. On dress down days, it was always the same brand of khaki pants, and some collared shirt from one of those stores. Me? I wore my army-colored cargos and a Linkin Park t-shirt.

It was my taste that did the final notch. I dressed like a punk/goth. I had baggy cargo pants, wore black, red, and army colors (one day in the mall, someone actually asked me if I was in the armed forces, since I look a little older than my age). My arms were covered with, not charm bracelets and Tiffany, but spikes on leather bands, metal rings, and straps with silver stars. The only things around my neck were silver and black beads and dog tags. The girls at school wore one of my bracelets and called themselves a “punk,” but they dressed what Tedd and I, and them, agreed: preppy. I was surrounded by collared shirt-wearing, short skirt-wearing, tight jeans and khaki-wearing, make-up-donned preps. I was the black and red, cargo pants, band shirt, goth/punk. Except for Julia, there wasn’t anyone like that. And because of that, even though Julia was gone, we were still labeled “gothic” and “different.”Although many of the popular people share our tastes in music, we were a little more in depth into heavy metal and hard rock, spilled with hate-filled, angst-dripping lyrics. Until a year ago, I had no clue what Z100 was. A boy at a summer camp told me to listen to KROCK, and that’s what I did. I listened to a rap song, and I shut the radio back off.

My teachers from St. Joe's still tell me I’m going to go far. More than anything, I want to be a writer. I’m happy now with Julia and Tedd, and another guy named Will. It’s true that I mostly get along with guys; it’s true that I shop at stores that only goths and punks go to; it’s true that all I wear is black, red, spikes, and chains. But I’m still smart, kind, and willing to be a friend. I don’t think I’m ever going to understand why I wasn't a part of the big group of what they claim is true: that “everyone is accepted.” And those were their own words. I really wonder now...

My words of advice? Be who you want to be and do what you want todo. Sure, being “uncool” stings for a little bit. But if you don’t want to belike the popular crowd, don’t torture yourself by buying all pink if all you like is black and put on all this make-up if you despise mascara. I learned that it doesn’t make sense to be one of the crowd. Maybe it looked like, on the outside, I was happy, but I hated trying to be like everyone else. I was talking with this one popular girl (she was having a problem, and the popular people didin't do emotional stuff. I realized that after trying to confide in one of them), and I fully understood her problem. She looked at me, and told me, “I’m glad I could talk to you. I don’t think the other girls would understand.” Being who you want to be might make the others turn away, but you have to understand: being a fake person who wants to live in a perfect world isn’t going to get you anywhere in life. Being unique, and yes different, isgoing to score you big time later. And realize: there are other fish in the sea. For me it was Tedd and Julia, and for you there will be someone. You might haveto wait a while, but if you be yourself and be honest about who you are, you arereally going to like yourself. If you like yourself, then you can like others,and then you can achieve the real happiness you are looking for.

Introduction

2004-08-08T22:02:00.000-04:00

Hello, everyone. I'm ZoOtKLONE (for now. You will probably learn my real name sometime in the future) . Now, there is a good reason why I started this blog. Why? Because I'm a teenager who wants to express her opinion. I wanna give a world a bite of my cake, and you all are gonna taste some. My posts will range from music, fashion, religion, and politics (right-wingers, beware). And believe me, I'm going to give it to you straight from my mind.

If anyone starts to like my stuff, I'm just saying, with a new school year coming up, it will be one to three posts a month, depending on my time. And if anyone wants to join my blog....well, just wait a while, okay? Anyway, just hear me out. And if you like my stuff, tell a friend. If you think I'm a stupid idiot with a bag over my head, tell (and rant to) a friend. Just pass the word, hear?

Well, that's enough intro for now. I feel that you'll get to know me from my lecutres and rants. Have fun